Thank f##k it is bedtime. Natalia's wretched anorexia is really testing our patience at the moment. When will this nightmare ever end. Natalia's cold is now resting on her chest making her panic attacks even more stressful. 🙄🤧
Yesterday I didn't blog as I had my first night away from Natalia this year. Lovely evening, great catch up with my friend & my godson. However I suffered today, felt okay when I got up and then the hangover started to creep up on me. Knackered as well as didn't sleep well. 🥂🥂🥂😴
Yesterday Natalia also did my makeup for my live video. Slightly concerning it took her over an hour and a half to do my makeup. 👄I really didn't think I needed so much makeup. It was nerve wracking doing the video to launch my website www.purejoywellbeing.co.uk designed by Ethan Goodchild (my son)
Today I think Natalia/Anorexia is punishing me for having a night off but I refuse to be bullied. Lots of tears tonight and a new method of pinching skin on her neck & twisting it. She also tried to strangulate her waist with a belt. 💔 it is heart breaking size 4 and she thinks she is huge.
I can't help think that teenagers are forced to live in a world of unrealistical demands whilst filtered and photoshopped images along with cyberbullying cause a lot of mental health problems. 🤔
To finish me off tonight Natalia decided to wrap her hair in straws to give her curly hair tomorrow (I predict a tantrum in the morning followed by self loathing. ) As always Natalia has no concept of time⏳ so despite me nagging in vain supper was a lot later than planned.
Remember what I said about the straws in her hair, she had a panic attack sat and curled up on me and my face was stabbed by straws. I yelped which caused her to fly into even more hysterics. 🤯🙈
Another day closer to recovery is what Ikeep reminding myself . Time for some unwinding meditation before I face another day.
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