When you are just dying to give advice to Zigi…

Don’t.

Here is why.

You told Zigi you are non-judgemental.

You told Zigi you believe in her having the wisdom to find her own answers.

You told Zigi you are going to pay attention to her.

You told Zigi you will not make suggestions, you will not give advice.

You told Zigi you will set up a safe space – something Zigi has probably never experienced before.

You are building trust which is hard to gain and very easy to destroy.

In this safe client-coach relationship, your advice/suggestion comes as a bombshell.

Your “goodwill” of rescuing Zigi puts Zigi back to the familiar place: I am not good enough; I am too stupid to figure things out; I cannot trust anyone, even a professional; etc.

And you give advice because:

a) you judge Zigi as one who cannot come up with that “brilliant” solution that is so obvious to you (so you are not non-judgmental and you don’t believe she can come up with her answers)

b) while Zigi was talking, you were having an internal dialogue of how to solve her problem (so you did not pay attention to her)

c) you tell her what to do because you want to shine, you want to feel important, you feel sorry for her and you want to rescue – all of these mean you are bigger than her, you are smarter than her, you place yourself above her.

But the session is not about you.

Becoming an awesome coach in my opinion is a mindset change: from the usual advice giving set-up to seeing the divine spark in Zigi, seeing her potentials, empowering her – while you are in the background, serving Zigi with your skills, compassion, and brilliance.

So much to gain by keeping your advice silent. So much to lose by letting it out.

Which type of coach would you like to have?